Being a Good Neighbor

Being a good neighbor means pruning your grapes even if it isn't the proper time (the proper time for those of you who don't know is in winter when they are dormant). We have grapes planted on our fence on two sides of our yard. One neighbor (the one where the more vigourous concords grow) has some pretty nice landscaping and no matter how far I prune them back in the winter, they always grow down into their yard choking out their daylillies and just not looking good. This year they planted a few veggies on retaining wall right under the grapes - so I am having to keep a closer eye on the grapes. They were starting to twine around their tomatoes and cucumbers - can't have that! So, even though it is the beginning of July I pruned my grapes back out of their veggies (and daylillies). The neighbors agree that the grapes on the fence form a nice privacy barrier, but I always wonder when to stop pruing - they are too nice to ever say anything (well, the husband might when he has had too much to drink) - but I hate to prune back too much and lose the privacy barrier (and potentially harm the grapes) and yet I want to make sure I prune enough that they aren't coming down too far into their yard again too soon. I get that way with pruing trees and such also - when to stop. I think pruning is one of those things that makes us feel inadequate as a gardener and so we don't do it and let things get overgrown.